Life reflection 2.

Life begins at 40? To me it's more like worrying about life begins at 40. At this age I am forced to reflect and think about what I should do with my life and how I should improve it. I have been having sleepless nights more often than not. At my age I am faced with expectations all round. Two things keep bothering me and I will tell you about them.

First I keep getting asked by my African friends, colleagues and relatives the following questions:

"Why aren't you married?"
"When are you going to get married?"
"Do you have a partner?"
"Why are you still single?"
"Why aren't you looking?"

It is like I am disappointing people as African customs dictate that you should get married whether you like it or not. What if I want to stay single? It seems I do not have a choice. I am expected to marry and continue my lineage. Because I am single, people are saying that "It's not good - oooo, it's not good at all!" People have suggested that I marry a Ghanaian woman and bring her to the UK. This would likely be at my expense. I would have to financially support both of us at first until she settles and then she earns enough money to get by. I have decided to do something about it and resume online dating but as I wasn't successful last time, what makes me think that I would fare any better? I have also become more confident and started talking to people I have met for the first time a lot more. I need to network a bit more as well.

Perhaps I would be more successful if I am no longer in an administrative or support job. I am expected to be in at least a managerial position at my age. However, I am stuck in a dead-end job in HR. I have been met with a growing realisation that HR is changing to become more strategic and business-driven and less operational so my job is increasingly becoming less relevant. If I want to stay in HR I would now have to earn a CIPD qualification but do I want to stay in HR? More to the point I am tired of being in HR and I am increasingly convinced that I would be much happier becoming a translator. That way I get to do something that I enjoy for a living. Now that I am living on my own it has forced me to look for a better paid job. I am now looking for a senior or Team Leader position in either HR Support or Business Support. That way I can then save up enough money to do my postgraduate course.

So those are the two things that are causing me hassle and stress. Hopefully my situation will get better.

Ciao for now.


Comments

  1. Abena Sɛwaa2 March 2019 at 02:09

    Oh Kitdan those Africans saying those things clearly don't know you because if they did they wouldn't even have to ask. As your dear friend I want you to know that you ARE good enough just as you are. You don't HAVE to do anything you don't want to. Bringing someone from another land just to satisfy an expectation from someone else won't make you happy. Your happiness is in your hands and you're doing all the right things that you pointed to at the beginning of your piece to achieve that. They say that just cos someone else has something doesn't mean yours has to come at that same time. Yours will come and it will work out. What I see is you focussing more on your passion outside of HR and becoming your true self.... I think once you embrace that all other things will follow. But above all, listen to yourself more and to those judgemental people less. All my love!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kitdan2 March 2019 at 02:39

    Thank you for your kind words, MisBeee Writes.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Overcoming challenges.

My father likes to tell stories about our past just like most people. One of them told of when I was a toddler. I was faced with one of the biggest challenges in my life then. My thirteen-month-old self travelled to Ghana. When I returned to Britain I lost the ability to speak. I had language difficulties. I was unable to express myself and as a result I felt withdrawn. My dad took me to a doctor who had little faith in me. He said that I might never speak again. My dad wasn't having any of it and taught me how to read. I then began to read aloud and mastered the ability to speak again with the help of my dad and my speech therapist. Moreover I can understand two more languages apart from English. We all face challenges throughout our lives. In school, in university, at home, at work and during our travels. Married people face challenges, as do parents and everyone else. Challenges make our lives more interesting and give them a purpose. They also make us much stronger people. It
Read more

Show review: Stomp.

For my birthday I decided to treat myself. I bought a ticket for a show that I have been wanting to see for a very long time. Yes, you guessed it, that show is Stomp. I finally saw it and it did not disappoint. In case you are wondering what Stomp is about, it features percussionists who use various makeshift instruments out of ordinary objects to perform and thus entertain the audience. I like drums and am a fan of percussion. When I was little I used to beatbox a lot. My fondness for the percussive sound explains my love of garage music. The show began with a lone sweeper who acted like he was cleaning the stage and then, as if he was bored, started to perform with his brush. He was then joined by several other "sweepers" who proceeded to entertain us all. They then used other "instruments" such as pots and pans, lighters, sinks, shopping trolleys, massive lids, newspapers, rubbish and even their own bodies. What I didn't expect from the show was a bit o
Read more

Life reflection.

Later this year, I will turn 40. They say that life begins at 40. I say the path towards middle age begins at 40. I am beginning to realise that the youth which I possess and take for granted will begin to evade me and I find myself desperately clinging to it. What have I achieved? I ask myself. I have achieved some things but quite frankly not enough. As I near the end of my thirties, I have to give myself some advice. Advice 1 - do not rest on your laurels (or yannys if you heard about the latest social media debate). I have been in the same level job for over ten years and it is an administrative/support job. I can no longer afford to do that. The reason is that life and circumstances can change and I have to keep up with them. In the future I may end up with a family of my own and I need to be able to get a managerial or better paid job in order to support them. I need to go up the career ladder and not limit myself. I need to fulfil my ambitions and not just dream about them. I
Read more